Creating Better Future Relationships After Your Minnesota DivorceNov 25, 2022
This week the Doing Divorce Different Podcast (Listen Here) is all about creating a healthy love life while you are married or after your MN divorce. Dating after divorce can be daunting, especially if you are afraid of repeating past mistakes. Whether you are married, newly divorced or have been for quite some time, it’s important to be conscious of what we look for and how to behave while in a relationship.
Dr. Thomas Jordan, a Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst has amazing insight. Dr. Jordan author of Learn to Love has studied love relationships for over thirty years. and I could not think of a more qualified guest to have on the podcast. Here are my main takeaways from my conversation with Dr. Thomas Jordan.
- We learn many things through unconscious learning. Meaning you don’t know you are learning something in that moment, but it carries over into other aspects into your life. We can learn unconsciously through relationships, observation, and sometimes instruction. We tend to replicate the relationships that we see growing up. Acknowledging this can help us see how those relationships carry over into adulthood. If you learned unhealthy behaviors in relationships as a child, chances are you will repeat those unhealthy behaviors in your present and future relationships.
- In order to “unlearn” unhealthy behaviors, you must first become conscious of your unhealthy behaviors. Consciously doing the opposite of what you know is going to be comfortable. This is not something that happens once and you magically have relearned healthy behaviors and it’s over. You are going to have to practice. You have to be devoted to relearning, so find your motivators.
- Going through a divorce opens up the opportunity to get curious about your past relationships, uncover what you’ve been repeating, and re-create what you want your love life to look like.
- Unlearning unhealthy behaviors can apply to couples that are still together. Understanding your psychological love life and your partner’s psychological love life and visa versa is a very powerful tool for relationships. If you both work together, it is possible to rebuild your relationship on a healthier foundation to move forward together, rather than staying stuck in unhealthy cycles.
I hope my takeaways resonated with you. Whether you are married, divorced, are about to be divorced, or are struggling in your relationship, it is possible to have a healthy love life moving forward. You are worthy and deserving of love and I hope this helps episode helped you realize that.
If you need Divorce or Marital Support, or know someone who does, please contact me. I am here and I want to help.
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