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3 Simple Steps to Feel Confident Before During and After Divorce in Minnesota

divorce divorce and dating divorce coach divorce mediation Nov 10, 2022
Feel confident during and after MN divorce

I have been reflecting on my dating episodes on my podcast Doing Divorce Different and how we can feel confident during and after our Minnesota divorce.  These dating episodes are extremely helpful in getting you ready to find the love of your life.  But what if you are not ready to put yourself out there?  Dr. Duana Welch guides through taking action.  I am a believer, I have lived my entire life taking action.  I have learned that I enjoy life more and take on more when I feel optimal during the action.  This is what my business coach has taught me; and I want to share how with you.

 

I love my episodes with coach Tracy!  (Recent episode)  This week was particularly helpful.  I got a little teary eyed explaining my painful realization.  I share it with my audience so that I can teach you how to control your mind and feel better.  Here are the tools that Tracy shares:

  1. Be aware of the feeling.  If you can turn down the volume on some of these feelings and thoughts you allow yourself time to respond rather than react.  Here is an amazing book about turning down the volume! ( Soundtracks ) I know we say to be aware of your thoughts and feelings over and over again. It is such a basic important first step, that leads to huge strides.   
  2. In addition to being aware of how you are feeling, examine what is creating that feeling.  I often talk about what is the thought or belief behind a feeling.  In my example,  I talk about how I don’t feel confident; unless I feel attractive-which sadly is rare. This awareness is my first step.  When I dig deep I realize this feeling comes from not loving myself for who I am.
  3. Normalize what you feel and believe.   We can neutralize our thoughts and feelings by looking at evidence.  In my example I thought back to my grandma who had a huge impact on my life.  She was completely wrinkled up. I still thought she was the best thing ever and I loved her.  My eyes only saw beauty because of who she was inside.  

Another way to normalize, or give yourself a break, is to not judge yourself harshly for how you feel.  In my example, It makes sense that I feel like I perform better when I believe I look good; the society we live in is very focused on this.

Now you can optimize moment by moment.  What this looks like to me is that when I feel gross or fat or unattractive I am not my best self.  I am aware.  Having this awareness each time I feel this feeling and think this thought, helps me respond not react.  I don’t have to spiral down.  Then I can use my evidence about my grandma and realize I can be my best self no matter how I appear (or think I appear).  This new evidence is me beginning to use my prodigy brain little by little.  It is a work in progress.  

I will keep you posted on how this journey goes!  I hope that this information will help you optimize your life and enjoy it while you go!   



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