Choosing Yourself After Trauma: Vivian Moyo’s Story of Healing and Hope

Some conversations don’t just inspire you… they remind you what matters.

On this episode of Doing Life Different, I sat down with life coach Vivian Moyo, and even though we had a few technical hiccups, her story came through with so much heart and honesty.

Vivian is based in London, but she was born in Zimbabwe—and her journey to healing began far earlier than most of us can imagine.

Losing Her Mother at Three Years Old

Vivian’s mom passed away when she was only three.

And because she was so young, she doesn’t remember her mother’s:

• voice

• touch

• smile

• presence

Her only connection to her mom has been through photos… and even that has felt distant.

But the most painful part?

She shared that her family didn’t talk about her mother at all.

No explanations.
No stories.
No details.

And as Vivian said so beautifully, silence may be meant as protection… but it can also create more trauma, because children need truth, comfort, and connection.

Why Silence Can Create More Pain

Vivian’s story highlights something we don’t talk about enough:

Sometimes families avoid hard conversations because they don’t know how to have them.

They weren’t taught emotional safety.
They weren’t taught grief support.
They learned to “move on” without processing.

And that silence can leave a child feeling:

• invisible

• unimportant

• “not enough”

• like they don’t belong

Loss After Loss… Until It Felt Like Too Much

Later in life, Vivian experienced two miscarriages—both at five months pregnant.

She described how those losses broke her… and how she reached a point where she didn’t want to live anymore.

But in that moment, she heard what she calls the voice of God reminding her she was called for something greater.

And that was the turning point.

Healing Became Her Mission

Vivian started helping young girls love themselves—because she saw her younger self in them.

Eventually, she shifted her work to focus on women who had survived trauma and domestic violence through her charity organization Safe Haven Women’s Organization.

Now, she’s expanded her work into coaching, community healing, and her upcoming book The Invisible Girl, launching in June.

The Best Self-Love Advice She Gave

When I asked Vivian what helps a woman love herself more, her answer was simple:

✅ Choose yourself.

Choosing yourself means:

• leaving what harms you

• creating boundaries

• breaking patterns

• getting support

• doing what’s healthy instead of what’s familiar

It’s not always easy.
But it’s powerful.

Final Thought

If you’re in midlife and life feels heavy, I hope this encourages you:

Midlife isn’t your crisis. It’s your comeback.
And choosing yourself might be where it starts.