Coping Strategies for MN Divorce StressAug 04, 2023
Life comes with both good and bad times, but what if you were in a place where you could work through those difficult times (including stress with your MN Divorce)with trust that everything will work out for the best? On the podcast this week I had Gary Miles on, who is so passionate about positivity and how to heal through empowerment. Gary has been in law for four decades, and is just such a bright light to have in the space. During our episode we talked about how he overcame alcoholism, how that changed his business, the benefits of mediation, and the benefits of mentorship. I can’t wait to share more here!
Feeling confident by gaining clarity is such a powerful place to start while going through divorce, or any other difficult circumstance in life. My advice when someone first becomes aware of a divorce or decides they are going to get divorced is to get as much information as possible. Try to understand your finances and your budget. Step back from your immediate feelings and get a wide view on what is best for you and your children. Control what you can, and let go of the rest, trusting the process. Focus on your job, your kids, your relationships and hobbies, and let your attorney handle the difficult things.
Gary is a big fan of mediation for the many benefits that it brings to the table. He said something really powerful in this week's episode, which is that when you work together through mediation, you will come up with a much better plan than if it is left up to a lawyer. He said “If parties can reach their own decision, two things happen always. One, it's a better decision for themselves and for the kids. The court could never decide something better for the parties than they could jointly agree themselves. And the second is it's much more enforceable, it's much less likely to be contested because this was our agreement.” A great thing to remember when everything else feels so heavy.
That being said, for mediation to work, both parties have to be willing to come together and reach an agreement. There are times when mediation just will not work, such as if there is a narcissist, physical, or emotional abuse in the relationship. Both parties need to feel safe and like they can speak up for what they want. This is an area where mediators and lawyers need to pay attention and be aware when they support their clients, and a place for clients to speak up if they are a victim.
Next, we talked about mentorship and how there are so many situations that people go through, where they can take their experience and share it with others in a form of mentorship. We see this happen a lot with divorce coaches, mediators, and others in this profession. Performing an act of service usually makes us happier as a person. I am so passionate about divorce mediation, and would love to mentor others through this space. It's such a beautiful way to do divorce when possible.
Lastly, Gary talked about the benefits of gratitude. He said he has his clients spend 30 days writing down three things they are grateful for. Those items cannot be repeated over the 30 days, which means after the first week you’ll really be looking for things in your life you are grateful for. He then has them write down three things at the end of the day that happened they are grateful for. By doing this for 30 days and reviewing it, you’ll find yourself in an attitude of gratitude.
Gary is such a great resource! Check out his podcast and website for more information on what he offers and to hear more empowering words. As always, I am here if you are seeking mediation support in the Minnesota area, schedule your free consultation on my website.
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