Why Divorce Mediation Skills Could Help You In Minnesota and BeyondOct 26, 2022
Whether you are going through a divorce; or some other conflict, I believe we all could benefit from sharpening our mediation skills. Listen here to learn how. Mediations bring peace to conflicts like divorce in several ways.
Here are 6 key takeaways from a recent interview with Minnesota Mediator and Author Dan Simon:
- Clarity leads to peace. The first step in mediation is to let people talk. When you ask who wants to talk first the parties agree to who will speak and you have your first agreement. When people talk and share their perspectives clarity is born. Really listening to someone's perspective is essential. Try repeating it back to make sure you understand. This technique also allows the other party to feel understood, which is a basic human need. (https://understooduk.com/why-being-understood-is-our-greatest-human-need/).
- Even though parties often would like the mediator to answer their questions; the best results and agreements come from the parties themselves. Experienced mediators can throw out ideas. However, every situation is different. I always like to help people find their own answers together and keep the decisions in their hands.
- Beware of what appears to be fiery conflict. As a mediator, I have experienced couples who have harsh communication styles. I need to watch and decipher if anyone is feeling victimized; or if this is a comfortable way the parties communicate. If it is comfortable to them, I have learned to respect that.
- When parties work through a conflict constructively it is a positive experience. I think this is why I find so much joy in my work. We all gain confidence through doing. Knowing you can handle conflict is very rewarding.
- Realize when you are in conflict. Here is a hint, do you think someone is a jerk? If the answer is yes, you are in conflict. Awareness always helps us think clearer. This awareness gives you time to handle the situation constructively.
- Finally so many of us today buy into the idea that we are good and the other is bad. I think the world could be a better place if we practiced listening to another's point of view.
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